The week leading up to us FINALLY getting on the road for the El Rancho Retro Virgin Voyage – Heartland 2020 trip was a rough one. Among our struggles were broken appliances, ridiculous heat – making packing/prepping Gidget all but impossible at any hour after 10 a.m. and my Father-in-law landing in the hospital (NOT for Covid). We were starting to feel like 2020 was saying to us yet again, “Eh, maybe not so much this year.”
Our plan was to leave in the afternoon of Friday, calling it our “getaway day.” The idea being to avoid all the last minute craziness of packing and getting ready on our first full day of travel. Instead, we would just pop over the “hill” (Sierra Nevadas) on Friday afternoon to Reno, have a celebratory – and yet properly socially distanced – dinner with my Aunt on Friday evening and come Saturday morning we would be on the road early on to our grand adventure. But first, I had to get ready . . .
I am either the BEST packer on the planet or the absolute WORSE. It depends on your packing philosophy. My packing method is to pack for EVERY possible situation that could conceivably (or more likely, inconceivably) ever happen. WHAT IF, I need to, say, meet with the Queen of England? Or maybe, I might be captured by a reality TV casting crew and shipped to a remote island to fend for myself, just me and my suitcase(s)? (I would so nail that!) And the larger the suitcase(s), the more WHAT IF’s and more situations one can be prepared for. WHAT IF, one were asked to a rodeo (either preforming or spectating)? Or a business meeting with a record producer? Or maybe joining a search party deep in the Amazon jungle? Now, I should point out that, I haven’t ridden a horse since I was a child, I have never roped a cow or rode on a bull and I should never – EVER – sing in public without many, MANY other voices around me singing much louder than me to drown out my voice completely. And, if I am being honest, I would also pretty much leave anyone lost in the Amazon jungle to fend for themselves as I am paralyzingly terrified of snakes and don’t really think I would like bugs as large as my hands. But I will be ready for pretty much any WHAT IF that comes my way – even if I am unable ot unwilling to act on them.
After what felt like an unending week of getting ready for the WHAT IF’s of our trip, I realize now that packing a travel trailer for a three-week cross-country trip is the ultimate nightmare for the [over]packer like me. The bigger the suitcase(s) the more you can pack for and a camper is the mother of all suitcases! It has closets and cupboards and organizational boxes and space under the seats and bed to pack more and more of those items that would come in handy should an impromptu invitation to a SCUBA diving trip in Iowa come one’s way. Or WHAT IF one finds themselves entertaining a diplomatic envoy at one’s campsite in Nebraska and one needs to have just the right platter on which to serve campfire nachos? WHAT IF’s are big in my [over]packing world.
The WHAT IF’s conversation I have in my head when I [over]pack as if to cover every possible scenario on the planet CAN be completely reasonable.
Q: What if it rains while we are on our trip?
A: Pack rain gear and shoes. Oh yeah, and where did that rain poncho (that we never used in England) go? Found it! Into the trailer.
Q: Is it cold in Colorado in the summer?
A: I don’t know, pack sweats and long sleeves, layers, socks, close-toed shoes, jackets, hats, gloves, scarfs.
And the conversation can continue – perhaps veering off a wee bit . . .
Q: What if we need to go out somewhere fancy? (Wait, what?)
A: Pack a slightly more fancy casual outfit – you know, so it doesn’t look like you are trying so hard. (Wait, what?)
Q: What if we need extra bedding? Should I bring the flannel sheets incase it is really cold in Idaho?
A: Pack more bedding. Extra pillow cases, blankets, but stop the madness and leave the flannel sheets!
Q: Are four plastic wine glasses enough? We still have the other ones we didn’t like, I should take those too?
A: Pack them all! You know you will!
And finally, I find myself here . . .
Q: Should I bring photos of all the kids with us and hang them on the wall of the camper – same with pictures of the cats too?
A: What? Do you think you will forget them while on the road?
Q: I think I should bring almond flour, don’t you?
A: Sure, go ahead and pack that along with the chia seeds and maca powder, I SO see you using that while cooking at the KOAs! Do you even remember why you bought those?? You are COMPLETELY insane. . .
Fourth-grade history told us of the Oregon Trail and how it is littered with household items that the Pioneers cast off as they made their way across the country as conditions made it harder and harder to bring all the things that could be argued as, perhaps, ‘non-essential.’ It is my firm belief that one of my relatives was one of those pioneers and that they bought their conestoga wagon somewhere in Michigan (and named it Gidget) and proceeded to pack it with their cast-iron stove, piano, beds, dressers, trunks and Grandma and then they headed West. They were ready for all WHAT IF’s that could come their way on the road. Ready for a sing-a-long on the lonesome prairie or gourmet cooking on the range. And WHAT IF there was a party held on the way out there? They had their finest clothes packed and were ready. And they had Grandma – they were really ready. It is also my belief that out in the desert one could find the remains of my relative’s belongings – along with their dry dusty bones, having paid the ultimate price for refusing to leave just one thing behind, because, WHAT IF . . .?
Travels with Gidget 
Over packing? I don’t see it.
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